Advice for Father’s in Divorce

Fathers going through divorce frequently report to us that the process is much more stressful and complicated than they first anticipated.  This is due the the court’s stritct requirements that a detailed parenting plan and child support worksheet and addendum be filed with the court, with a supporting domestic relations financial affidavit.  Once you add this to mixture of emotions and trying to the best father possible, things can get really hard for when you are also working many hours to support your family.  However, there are ways to make the process a lot easier to cope with. One of the most important things to remember is to protect yourself and your finances. Below are some ways to help you as a father adjust and handle the divorce process.

• Keep lots of friends and family around you. Don’t suffer with the stress of divorce on your own. Find a way to distract yourself when you need it. Ask for support if you need it and try to enjoy the little things in life.
• Despite the distress and distractions of divorce, work hard to keep your job. If you haven’t worked in a long time, speak to a career counselor to work on your resume and obtain job hunting advice.
• Resist the rebound relationship. While having new relationships can be fantastic and take your mind off divorce, don’t jump into a full-time romance immediately. Also, a new serious relationship can only complicate an ongoing divorce case.
• Do not move out of your residence just because a divorce is looming. If the mother has almost exclusive day-to-day direct responsibility for the children, the court will be hesitant to completely change the living environment for the children once the case is over.
• If you do move out of your residence, make sure your new living arrangement is well suited to your children’s best interests during visitation. This usually refers to the cleanliness, safety and adequate space of your living environment.
• Maintain a steady job and lifestyle. If you are financially and otherwise capable of raising your children, this is will have a positive influence on the case. Showing you are willing and capable to raise your children will indicate you have their best interests at heart.
• Get control of your credit cards. Make sure your spouse isn’t charging things to your name or on a joint credit card, which could affect your financial stability. After talking with your attorney, if advised, follow through and track down and cancel any joint credit card accounts. This can be difficult if they are not being sent to your home address and you no longer can check the mail. Also, you can freeze credit card accounts by telling the credit card companies that you are going through a divorce.
• Check the status of all of your legal documents, especially loan documents, titles or deeds of real property or automobiles you and your wife may have purchased together. Obtain copies of these documents and give them to your attorney for your case. Many people are surprised to find out they are not on the deed to the home or are actually just a cosigner on a mortgage.
• Keep track of all investments such as 401(k)s, IRAs, real estate and brokerage accounts. Go through all you and your spouse own very carefully, and make copies of every single financial document you find. Give copies to your attorney to review and for safe keeping.
• Early in the process, consider different alternatives to litigation, such as mediation which is less costly and also much less time consuming. Discuss the mediation process with your attorney; it may be court ordered.
• Make a budget, stick to it and save money because you will never know when you might need it during the divorce process or afterwards.
• Take care of the mortgage and other loans. If you will continue living in the marital residence following the divorce, it may be very important that only your name is on the mortgage, and vice versa. However, in many cases the divorce decree may make special accommodations for mortgages and real estate depending on the parties’ needs and the specific situation. The divorce proceedings will sort out who is paying what mortgages, car payments and bills. Usually, one party will be required to transfer the car to the other with the Department of Motor Vehicles.

If you are going through a divorce in the Alpharetta, Atlanta and Metro-Atlanta area, including Cumming, Roswell, Marietta, Duluth, Milton, Johns Creek, Woodstock – call us at 770-609-1247 to discuss how we can assist you.

Content Revised: 2015-10-27