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Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce

If you ask anyone who has been through a divorce what the process was like, some of them might tell you that it was not an easy process and that it was quite stressful. In some divorce situations, tensions run high, angry arguments are had and sometimes decisions are made in the heat of the moment that can have a lasting impact on you or your case. Since there are sometimes so many details that have to be sorted, it is common for some mistakes to be made. Sometimes there things that are advised that you do or don’t do during a divorce.

Increase Debt
Getting a divorce can be an expensive process, sometimes there are court and attorney fees involved, along with finding a new home to live in it can quickly become a financial burden and it can become difficult to make ends meet. It is important to remember that even if you are possibly receiving alimony, the legal fees have to be paid before that. So try to budget yourself now, it will make the future a little more enjoyable. It is also good to not, do not accrue new debt in the other spouses name.

Settle Early
It can be tempting to settle a divorce early just to be quickly out of your marriage. However, don’t compromise you financial security in the process. It is advised that you make copies of all your important documents, such as credit card statements, tax forms, pensions statements, and any other important paperwork, it will help you in keeping track of what you owe and what you own. It is also important to ensure that you and your children continue to have health insurance during and after the divorce. Try to reach a mutually beneficial agreement between you and your divorcing spouse to try to make the process a little less difficult and it could save the both of you some time and legal costs. If an uncontested divorce is an option, hire an attorney to help you through the process and try to reach a beneficial outcome. Also, do not sell or dispose of something that you know the other spouse will want, it will only lengthen the process.

Using the Children
A divorce can be very stressful, especially for the children. It is advised that one of the parents not set any boundaries such as; if the other parent does not pay a certain amount of money then they cannot see the children. It is seen as a form of using the children to ensure you receive money which is something that should not be done. Those kinds of threats not only lengthen the process and increase litigation fees; it is also possible that you be held for contempt and it takes time away from the children for both parents. It is also advised to keep certain details about the divorce from the children, try to not see them as friends.

Social Media
It can sometimes be risky if you to liberally use any form social media while going through a divorce. Be cautious in posting about a recent shopping spree, a planned vacation once the divorce is over, or posting pictures of your new sweetheart and yourself. These can sometimes contribute to your divorce in a negative way.

Legal Documents Update
If you do not want your former spouse making medical decisions about you while you are incapable to do so or using her power of attorney to access money from your retirement account then it is recommended that you go through any legal forms you have together and remove the other spouse from them. It is also advised to update your will after your divorce, in case you want to remove the divorced spouse from it.

Interaction after the Divorce
If the divorcing couple does not have any children then there is usually no further interaction between them. However, if there are children to consider, come to terms with the possibility that you may have to have some form of contact with your former spouse. You will still have to deal with your ex-spouse for many years to come. Consider the option of being reasonable now because it is a possibility that if you are unreasonable now, your ex-spouse will be unreasonable with you for many years to come. If your former spouse is content with their post-divorce life, odds are they won’t be around to make yours miserable.

Communication Records
It is good to keep a record of any interaction between your former spouse and yourself. Reason being that if you are dealing with someone that is threatening you via email or text messages, you can present records to the court. On the other hand, it is advised that you do not send threatening messages to your divorcing spouse since it can have an impact on your divorce process. If there is any form of agreement reached, whether it is about child or spousal support, be sure to have it written out and signed.

Lose Control
It is recommended that you keep cool head on your shoulder during the divorce. If you have violent or emotional outbursts it may convey to others that you are an irrational person. It is also good to not have heated discussion with your divorcing spouse in front of your children, for the children’s sake. Also, if you make a commitment, follow through with it.